It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)
Can you do better—well, worse—than this? Yes…it’s that time! Now’s your chance to enter the Bulwer-Lytton contest for the world’s worst novel opening. Deadline is April 15; rules are here; and previous “winners” are here.