Thursday, February 5, 2009

Work in Progress: Writing Can Be Fun

Late last summer, I wrote this humor piece poking fun at memoirs, and alas, no one was interested in publishing it. So what better use of a blog than to amuse myself?

I had a lot of fun playing with this—if you come up with some good ones, please feel free to share! Email me, and I’ll post the best.

The Year of Reading “The Year of” Books
by Leslie Pietrzyk

Recent popular book titles:

The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, by A.J. Jacobs

Julie and Julia: 375 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment, by Julie Powell

Followed by: Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously, by Julie Powell

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, by Barbara Kingsolver, Camille Kingsolver, and Steven L. Hopp

365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy, by Charla Muller and Betsy Thorpe

Look for these forthcoming titles soon at a bookstore near you:

“Damn Right It Makes You Look Fat”: A Married Couple Says What They Really Think for a Year

Eat, Sleep, Pant, Poop: One Year of Following the Advice of a Chocolate Lab

We Ate Like Pigs: One Family Eats What Pigs Eat for a Year!

The Year I Posted a Totally Different Message Everyday on My Neighborhood Listserve: Stray Cats, Plumber Referrals, Bad Contractors, Yard Sales, and Other Zaniness from Suburban USA

Reader, I Didn’t Marry Him: A Year in Which Each Date Is Worse Than the One the Night Before

No Room at the Inn: A Year Spent Touring the U.S. Through Time-Share Presentations

Strike!: The Year I Watched Every PBA Bowling Match on TV but Cheered Only for Bowlers from Milwaukee

“Please Try Again”: The Year of Scratch-Off Lottery Tickets

Season’s Bounty: A Year on the Farm during Which Eighteen Million Chickens Are Slaughtered, and We Also Unload Bushels of Tomatoes at the Overpriced but Quaint Farm Stand

Is God Everywhere?: 365 Nights, 365 Bars…in Search of God

Once Bitten: A Year in the Underground Competitive Piranha Circuit

To Insure Proper Service: The Year I Complained about Poor Service at a Different Restaurant Each Night
(adapted from the popular blog,

Mornings with Many: 365 Days of Power Walking the Mall with Old Folks Wearing Frighteningly White Sneakers

The Year We Made the Kids Try a Different Vegetable Every Day Until We Ran Out of Choices and They Got Their Dessert Anyway

Everything Starts in Ypsilanti!: The Year We Traveled to Cities Beginning with Y

The Year We Packed All Our Stuff into Boxes and then Unpacked It All Again, Over and Over and Over

Not on the Final: The Year We Read All the Books on the Syllabus that We Didn’t Bother Buying in College

A Year of Carrying a Different Country’s Currency in My Pocket Each Day

The Year of Making Polite Chit-Chat with Telemarketers

Shipping and Handling Not Included: A Year of Ordering (+ Using!) Every Product Seen on Late-Night Cable
(includes handy guide of toll-free numbers)

Julia and Me: A Year Spent Googling Diahann Carroll, TV’s Favorite African-American Nurse

Like a Good Neighbor: A Year of Keeping a Car Up on Blocks in My Front Yard (Which BTW I’ve Stopped Mowing), Partying on Fridays, 6 AM Leaf-Blowing, and Letting My Dog Bark At Any Old Thing

F- the Past, How About the Future: A Year of Living like the Jetsons
followed by this sequel:
F- the Future, How About the Past: A Year of Living like the Flintstones

525,600: A Year of My Life Spent Waiting for the Doctor to See Me Now

The Year of Spending My Summer Like a Teenager: Searching Out Heartbreaking Summer Loves Who Are Now All Bald and Paunchy, Eating Greasy Food and Gaining Twenty Pounds, Making Minimum Wage at Some Crappy Job That I Take Too Seriously

Gridiron: My Year Spent Washing Jerseys in the NFL

The View from Miss Daisy’s Window: A Year of Sitting in the Backseat Whenever Someone Drove Me Somewhere

Free Team Towel: A Year of Handing Out Credit Card Applications at Stadiums across America

One Pumpkin, 1689 Pounds—A Year Growing Ginormous Pumpkins and Chasing World Records and the Great Pumpkin Commonwealth Hall of Fame

The Year I Filled Up the Bathtub Completely with Water and Then Let It Sit There (includes black and white photos)


DC-area author Leslie Pietrzyk explores the creative process and all things literary.