Give us your
elevator pitch: what’s your book about in 2-3 sentences?
The Pleasure
Plan,
based on my New York Times Modern
Love essay, is a memoir and sexual healing guide. in my forties, I married
the man of my dreams¾after a lifelong
search¾discovering
quickly I had six kinds of sexual dysfunction, associated with child abuse. To
save my marriage and claim my right to pleasure, I tried 30 erotic-healing
techniques, which led me to the cutting edge of orgasm, libido, cures for pelvic
pain, and trauma recovery; mixing memoir with tips, I share these discoveries
with my readers.
What
boundaries did you break in the writing of this memoir? Where does that sort of
courage come from?
Well,
since the topic of my book¾sexual
dysfunction¾is pretty
taboo, I was confronted with many boundaries, especially in talking about this
project. I’d be at a dinner party when a stranger would ask me what I did.
After I said I was a writer, this person typically asked, “What are you working
on?” At first, I didn’t know what to say because I felt society had created a
barricade I was supposed to stand behind. Crossing to the other side seemed
disobedient and harmful; like I’d be wounding this person by asking
him/her/they to step with me into shameful territory. I didn’t want to lie
about my book project though, so I started discussing my work matter-of-factly.
I’d say: “I’m working on a book about reclaiming sexuality in the aftermath of
childhood sexual abuse. What kind of work do you do?” After the first few times of talking this way, casually, the
barricade, or boundary, disappeared. I realized this separation had been needlessly
severing a shared humanity. People began telling me their own shameful secrets!
I became addicted to these conversations. I felt free and fearless. You asked
about courage; this fearlessness I found, that’s
what allowed me to finish the book. As for where any of this bravery comes
from, I’d say: “Fuck it.” I mean: “Fuck it”; I’m just going to tell the truth of
who I am.
Tell us a bit
about the highs and lows of your book’s road to publication.
Highs:
Getting
an agent and then a book contract after five solid years of trying¾writing
book proposal, submitting it to agents, having it be rejected, improving my proposal,
and wash, rinse, repeat¾was thrilling.
It’s still thrilling.
Lows:
Well,
having the coronavirus hit right when I’m about to launch my book has
been…interesting. But I’m excited about creating more virtual events*, and
getting to my readers via amazing blogs like this one. Thank you, Leslie.
You’re a beautiful literary citizen, and human! [Editor’s note: Awwww….]
What’s your
favorite piece of writing advice?
Chunk
it down. Never having written a book before, I found the enormity of the
project terrifying. Eventually, I realized I could create daily, manageable
assignments for myself that would move me along. This helped a lot.
My favorite
writing advice is “write until something surprises you.” What surprised you in
the writing of this book?
My
own tenacity surprised me. Normally, I’m a person who starts yawning at 8 pm.
But when I was in the thick of it, I’d stay up till 3 am, determined to get one
paragraph right. I was shocked to discover how far I was willing to go to make
this book as good as it could be. This crazy ambition, or maybe stubbornness,
feels like a super power now.
Who is your
ideal reader?
My
ideal reader is a woman who struggles with sex. This could because of trauma. Or
it could be related to another situation, like cancer, lack of pleasure
education, the stress of childrearing, relationship malaise, pelvic floor
issues, menopause, or something else. Quality information about solving these
problems can be hard to find, because, like I said earlier, women’s sexual
health is still a taboo subject. In
fact, on my journey I found too many doctors and mental health professionals uncomfortable
(and uninformed) when it came to female sexuality. Part of my mission writing
this book is to help other women take control of their sexual health by finding
the right practitioners and acquiring solid knowledge. In other words, I
suppose my ideal reader is a woman who struggles with sex, but would also love
to do something about that.
Inquiring
foodies and hungry book clubs want to know: Any food/s associated with your
book?
Great
question! Since my book is about pleasure I’ll highlight the most scrumptious
and decadent treats readers will find in The
Pleasure Plan.: Belgian chocolates in a gold-trimmed blue box, tied up with
a sky-blue ribbon; sliced mango melting in the mouth; perfectly salted and
crisp French fries…I’ll stop here because I’m making myself hungry and
coronavirus is already adding some pounds. My friend calls it “the corona
fifteen.” To end on a pleasure note though: forget the pounds! Let’s eat what
we want right now, infusing our lives with as much good feeling as possible.
Pleasure is grounding. Pleasure is mindfulness and stress relief. Pleasure is a
big dose of life.
*Watch Laura's virtual event at Politics & Prose bookstore: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LClTg97UUBs
*Watch Laura's virtual event at Politics & Prose bookstore: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LClTg97UUBs
*****
