Michael Phelps Envy

Why am I envious of Michael Phelps? Not his immense talent, not this apparent and genuine good nature, not his incredibly fit physique, not his bajillion Olympic gold medals, not his buoyant (ha, ha) youth. I am envious of Michael Phelps because I heard him tell an NBC interviewer last night that he is “supposed to eat 8 to 10 thousand calories a day.” 10,000 calories…what I could do with that allotment!!