Late last summer, I wrote this humor piece poking fun at memoirs, and alas, no one was interested in publishing it. So what better use of a blog than to amuse myself?
I had a lot of fun playing with this—if you come up with some good ones, please feel free to share! Email me, and I’ll post the best.
The Year of Reading “The Year of” Books
by Leslie Pietrzyk
Recent popular book titles:
The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, by A.J. Jacobs
Julie and Julia: 375 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment, by Julie Powell
Followed by: Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously, by Julie Powell
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, by Barbara Kingsolver, Camille Kingsolver, and Steven L. Hopp
365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy, by Charla Muller and Betsy Thorpe
Look for these forthcoming titles soon at a bookstore near you:
“Damn Right It Makes You Look Fat”: A Married Couple Says What They Really Think for a Year
Eat, Sleep, Pant, Poop: One Year of Following the Advice of a Chocolate Lab
We Ate Like Pigs: One Family Eats What Pigs Eat for a Year!
The Year I Posted a Totally Different Message Everyday on My Neighborhood Listserve: Stray Cats, Plumber Referrals, Bad Contractors, Yard Sales, and Other Zaniness from Suburban USA
Reader, I Didn’t Marry Him: A Year in Which Each Date Is Worse Than the One the Night Before
No Room at the Inn: A Year Spent Touring the U.S. Through Time-Share Presentations
Strike!: The Year I Watched Every PBA Bowling Match on TV but Cheered Only for Bowlers from Milwaukee
“Please Try Again”: The Year of Scratch-Off Lottery Tickets
Season’s Bounty: A Year on the Farm during Which Eighteen Million Chickens Are Slaughtered, and We Also Unload Bushels of Tomatoes at the Overpriced but Quaint Farm Stand
Is God Everywhere?: 365 Nights, 365 Bars…in Search of God
Once Bitten: A Year in the Underground Competitive Piranha Circuit
To Insure Proper Service: The Year I Complained about Poor Service at a Different Restaurant Each Night
(adapted from the popular blog, spitinmyfood.com)
Mornings with Many: 365 Days of Power Walking the Mall with Old Folks Wearing Frighteningly White Sneakers
The Year We Made the Kids Try a Different Vegetable Every Day Until We Ran Out of Choices and They Got Their Dessert Anyway
Everything Starts in Ypsilanti!: The Year We Traveled to Cities Beginning with Y
The Year We Packed All Our Stuff into Boxes and then Unpacked It All Again, Over and Over and Over
Not on the Final: The Year We Read All the Books on the Syllabus that We Didn’t Bother Buying in College
A Year of Carrying a Different Country’s Currency in My Pocket Each Day
The Year of Making Polite Chit-Chat with Telemarketers
Shipping and Handling Not Included: A Year of Ordering (+ Using!) Every Product Seen on Late-Night Cable
(includes handy guide of toll-free numbers)
Julia and Me: A Year Spent Googling Diahann Carroll, TV’s Favorite African-American Nurse
Like a Good Neighbor: A Year of Keeping a Car Up on Blocks in My Front Yard (Which BTW I’ve Stopped Mowing), Partying on Fridays, 6 AM Leaf-Blowing, and Letting My Dog Bark At Any Old Thing
F- the Past, How About the Future: A Year of Living like the Jetsons
followed by this sequel:
F- the Future, How About the Past: A Year of Living like the Flintstones
525,600: A Year of My Life Spent Waiting for the Doctor to See Me Now
The Year of Spending My Summer Like a Teenager: Searching Out Heartbreaking Summer Loves Who Are Now All Bald and Paunchy, Eating Greasy Food and Gaining Twenty Pounds, Making Minimum Wage at Some Crappy Job That I Take Too Seriously
Gridiron: My Year Spent Washing Jerseys in the NFL
The View from Miss Daisy’s Window: A Year of Sitting in the Backseat Whenever Someone Drove Me Somewhere
Free Team Towel: A Year of Handing Out Credit Card Applications at Stadiums across America
One Pumpkin, 1689 Pounds—A Year Growing Ginormous Pumpkins and Chasing World Records and the Great Pumpkin Commonwealth Hall of Fame
The Year I Filled Up the Bathtub Completely with Water and Then Let It Sit There (includes black and white photos)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
AWP: See You in Chicago!
Will you be oneof the 5000 writers at the AWP conference in Chicago next week? If so, and you have the chance, please come by to see me during one of my events. There's an unconfirmed rumor that there may be Polish vodka at the Friday afternoon reading....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1:30 pm – 2:30 p.m.
Book signing
Book Fair, AWP conference
Converse College table
Update: Table #731, Southwest Hall, Lower Level
Hilton Chicago
720 South Michigan Avenue
Come say hi during my book signing—I’ll entertain you with more stories of the wonderful Converse College dining hall food!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
6:00 pm – 8:00 pm
The Polish Museum of America
The Great Hall
984 N. Milwaukee Ave.
Chicago, IL
There is free parking to the west of the building. The Museum can also be reached by the 56 Milwaukee Ave. bus (Augusta stop) or the blue line (three long blocks from either the Division or Chicago Avenue stops. A small donation is requested.
Five Polish-American writers (see below) read and discuss how they have been shaped by the culture of the midwest and the culture of Poland.
Friday, February 13, 2009
4:30 pm-5:45 pm
Hilton Chicago
720 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60605
Ontario Room, 8th Floor
The Country They Come From: Polish-American Writers Read about the Midwest and Poland. (John Guzlowski, Anthony Bukoski, Linda Foster, John Minczeski, Leslie Pietrzyk) Polish-American writers have been writing in and about the Midwest for a 150 years. They have written novels, travel narratives, poems, songs and memoirs that commemorate the Midwest while memorializing the country these writers or their ancestors came from. Five recent Polish-American writers will demonstrate that this tradition is very much alive and vital. Free.
Sponsored by the AWP Writing Conference.
And here is some additional information about my distinguished co-panelists:
Poet Linda Nemec Foster writes about the search for Polish roots and her travels to Poland to discover what parts of her identity were formed there. Short story writer Anthony Bukoski writes about the disappearing communities of Poles in northern Wisconsin, and their interaction with successive waves of post WWII and post Soviet Poles. Poet John Minczeski’s most recent book tries to put the essentials of Polish identity within the context of Western culture. Novelist Leslie Pietrzyk (Iowa) writes about the tension between older immigrants and their children and grandchildren growing up. Poet John Guzlowski, a Polish immigrant writes about what brought his family to America and how his Polish parents struggled to maintain their Polish identity within a melting-pot culture.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1:30 pm – 2:30 p.m.
Book signing
Book Fair, AWP conference
Converse College table
Update: Table #731, Southwest Hall, Lower Level
Hilton Chicago
720 South Michigan Avenue
Come say hi during my book signing—I’ll entertain you with more stories of the wonderful Converse College dining hall food!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
6:00 pm – 8:00 pm
The Polish Museum of America
The Great Hall
984 N. Milwaukee Ave.
Chicago, IL
There is free parking to the west of the building. The Museum can also be reached by the 56 Milwaukee Ave. bus (Augusta stop) or the blue line (three long blocks from either the Division or Chicago Avenue stops. A small donation is requested.
Five Polish-American writers (see below) read and discuss how they have been shaped by the culture of the midwest and the culture of Poland.
Friday, February 13, 2009
4:30 pm-5:45 pm
Hilton Chicago
720 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60605
Ontario Room, 8th Floor
The Country They Come From: Polish-American Writers Read about the Midwest and Poland. (John Guzlowski, Anthony Bukoski, Linda Foster, John Minczeski, Leslie Pietrzyk) Polish-American writers have been writing in and about the Midwest for a 150 years. They have written novels, travel narratives, poems, songs and memoirs that commemorate the Midwest while memorializing the country these writers or their ancestors came from. Five recent Polish-American writers will demonstrate that this tradition is very much alive and vital. Free.
Sponsored by the AWP Writing Conference.
And here is some additional information about my distinguished co-panelists:
Poet Linda Nemec Foster writes about the search for Polish roots and her travels to Poland to discover what parts of her identity were formed there. Short story writer Anthony Bukoski writes about the disappearing communities of Poles in northern Wisconsin, and their interaction with successive waves of post WWII and post Soviet Poles. Poet John Minczeski’s most recent book tries to put the essentials of Polish identity within the context of Western culture. Novelist Leslie Pietrzyk (Iowa) writes about the tension between older immigrants and their children and grandchildren growing up. Poet John Guzlowski, a Polish immigrant writes about what brought his family to America and how his Polish parents struggled to maintain their Polish identity within a melting-pot culture.
TV Writer to Present Program on "Character and Dialogue"
Mystery and thriller writer Austin Camacho has sent along the following announcement for all VA/DC/MD writers:
You don't want to miss the next meeting of the Northern Virginia chapter of the Virginia Writers Club.
On February 22 at noon, novelist, screenwriter and playwright Thomas B. Sawyer will give a two-hour presentation on Character and Dialogue—Creating and Putting Unique Words in the Mouths.
Who is this Tom Sawyer? Well, he was Head Writer of the CBS series, "Murder, She Wrote." He has written 9 network TV pilots and 100 episodes, and has been Head Writer, Showrunner or Story Editor on 15 network TV series.
His first novel was the best-selling mystery/thriller, The Sixteenth Man, and his books Fiction Writing Demystified and Storybase are Writer’s Digest Book Club Selections. He has taught writing and UCLA, at other colleges and universities, at numerous major writers conferences, and online at Writers University.
Chapter members who have paid their 2009 dues will benefit from this presentation/workshop for free. Others will pay $5 on arrival. Smart writers will join the chapter before the 22nd. Details are on our website, http://www.northernvirginiawriters.org
You don't want to miss the next meeting of the Northern Virginia chapter of the Virginia Writers Club.
On February 22 at noon, novelist, screenwriter and playwright Thomas B. Sawyer will give a two-hour presentation on Character and Dialogue—Creating and Putting Unique Words in the Mouths.
Who is this Tom Sawyer? Well, he was Head Writer of the CBS series, "Murder, She Wrote." He has written 9 network TV pilots and 100 episodes, and has been Head Writer, Showrunner or Story Editor on 15 network TV series.
His first novel was the best-selling mystery/thriller, The Sixteenth Man, and his books Fiction Writing Demystified and Storybase are Writer’s Digest Book Club Selections. He has taught writing and UCLA, at other colleges and universities, at numerous major writers conferences, and online at Writers University.
Chapter members who have paid their 2009 dues will benefit from this presentation/workshop for free. Others will pay $5 on arrival. Smart writers will join the chapter before the 22nd. Details are on our website, http://www.northernvirginiawriters.org
Save Yourself from the Lure of the Internet
Apple users—if you’re embarrassed and horrified by how much time you “spend” (i.e. waste) on the internet, look into Freedom, a program that will disable your browser for up to eight hours at a time. “I’m a PC”—so I have no personal experience using it, though I’m interested in any pro/con reports anyone has.
The program is free, though be a good person and consider donating if you like the program. Details are here.
(Link via Maud Newton.)
The program is free, though be a good person and consider donating if you like the program. Details are here.
(Link via Maud Newton.)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
East Hope by Katharine Davis on Sale Today!
Today is the big day for my dear friend Katharine (Kitty) Davis: her fabulous second novel, East Hope, officially goes on sale today!
My writing group read it in draft over the past couple years, and I can honestly say that it’s a wonderful story about the surprising second chances that life offers. Maine-ophiles will love what Kitty does with the evocative setting and will be running for the lobster pot! (Check out Kitty's Maine travel tips.)
If you think I might be biased, consider this lavish pre-publication praise:
“Katharine Davis has written an utterly irresistible novel, suffused with the special light and clarity of Maine. A book about second chances and real love, with characters as complicated as we really are. I couldn't put it down.”
~Lee Smith, author of THE LAST GIRLS and ON AGATE HILL
“East Hope is a charming love story, delightfully old-fashioned with a very modern twist. Katharine Davis captures Maine not just as a setting but as the character it is.”
~Lilly King, author of THE ENGLISH TEACHER
“Katharine Davis' captivating novel of loss and recovery follows a forty-four-year-old woman from a long-settled life into one that is anything but certain. The author's clean prose suits the spare setting in which most of this struggle takes place—a small seaside village in Maine. Her keen sensitivity to the people and countryside in that remote place vividly evokes its power to reshape her character's life, slowly but radically, much as the sea reshapes the shoreline.”
~Kathleen Maloy, author of EVERY LAST CUCKOO
Still not persuaded? Then see for yourself:
Buy the book here
AND/OR
Come see Kitty read in Alexandria, Virginia (you can bet I'll be there!):
Saturday, February 7, 2009
2 pm
Barnes and Noble
Potomac Yards, 3651 Jefferson Davis Highway
Alexandria, VA
AND/OR
Invite her to your book group: contact her at katharine@katharinedavis.com
AND/OR
Check out her website: www.katharinedavis.com
My writing group read it in draft over the past couple years, and I can honestly say that it’s a wonderful story about the surprising second chances that life offers. Maine-ophiles will love what Kitty does with the evocative setting and will be running for the lobster pot! (Check out Kitty's Maine travel tips.)
If you think I might be biased, consider this lavish pre-publication praise:
“Katharine Davis has written an utterly irresistible novel, suffused with the special light and clarity of Maine. A book about second chances and real love, with characters as complicated as we really are. I couldn't put it down.”
~Lee Smith, author of THE LAST GIRLS and ON AGATE HILL
“East Hope is a charming love story, delightfully old-fashioned with a very modern twist. Katharine Davis captures Maine not just as a setting but as the character it is.”
~Lilly King, author of THE ENGLISH TEACHER
“Katharine Davis' captivating novel of loss and recovery follows a forty-four-year-old woman from a long-settled life into one that is anything but certain. The author's clean prose suits the spare setting in which most of this struggle takes place—a small seaside village in Maine. Her keen sensitivity to the people and countryside in that remote place vividly evokes its power to reshape her character's life, slowly but radically, much as the sea reshapes the shoreline.”
~Kathleen Maloy, author of EVERY LAST CUCKOO
Still not persuaded? Then see for yourself:
Buy the book here
AND/OR
Come see Kitty read in Alexandria, Virginia (you can bet I'll be there!):
Saturday, February 7, 2009
2 pm
Barnes and Noble
Potomac Yards, 3651 Jefferson Davis Highway
Alexandria, VA
AND/OR
Invite her to your book group: contact her at katharine@katharinedavis.com
AND/OR
Check out her website: www.katharinedavis.com
Virginia Festival of the Book: March 18-22
The schedule for the Virginia Festival of the Book in Charlottesville is up and ready for perusal: http://www.vabook.org/site09/program/view.php
The popular event runs from March 18-22…most events are free. I went last year and highly recommend it, especially if you need a good solid dose of writers and books. Plus, Charlottesville is a fun place to visit! For general information, please check the website: http://www.vabook.org
The popular event runs from March 18-22…most events are free. I went last year and highly recommend it, especially if you need a good solid dose of writers and books. Plus, Charlottesville is a fun place to visit! For general information, please check the website: http://www.vabook.org
Monday, February 2, 2009
A "Sunny Scrapbook" and Save Book World!
It was startling to come across the following in a Washington Post Book World review of Scrapbooks: An American History, by Jessica Helfand:
“Helfand explains that she chose scrapbooks that, above all, “tell a story worth telling.” Take, for example, the one kept by a 19-year-old girl who eloped from her Boston home. On one page is a faded color photograph of the achingly young couple lounging on beach chairs with the caption “us,” along with the taped-in key to their Virginia Beach hotel room. Two pages later comes a telegram from her forgiving parents: “Two such sweet young people should make a fine combination.” The young bride pastes in laundry lists, gin rummy tallies, her husband’s apology note after their first fight. She also starts to write poetry: romantic rhyming couplets and letters, ripped from a magazine, that spell “Bleat, Bleat.” The sunny scrapbook belonged to Anne Sexton, years before she found fame as a poet, her marriage imploded in abuse and infidelity, and she committed suicide.”
The review was written by Caroline Preston and can be found here.
Here’s a link to "Lament," an Anne Sexton poem that I love; I used several lines from it as an epigraph to my novel A Year and a Day:
The supper dishes are over and the sun
unaccustomed to anything else
goes all the way down.
***
And speaking of Book World—which, regrettably, the Washington Post is about to shutter—Women’s National Book Association (WNBA), Washington Chapter President, NC Weil urges readers and writers to protest the decision:
"Less than a week after Ron Charles received the Nona Balakian Citationfrom the National Book Critics Circle for excellence in reviewing, the Washington Post announced the end of Book World as a stand-alone Sunday supplement. Book reviews will be incorporated into a re-formatted Style and Outlook section starting Feb. 22nd.
Protest this decision!
Katharine Graham, long-time publisher of the Washington Post, said, "sales be damned, because the mark of a good newspaper was its book section." Amen to that!
The Washington Post needs to hear from readers, right away, if they are to reconsider. Send your comments to letters@washpost.com and put "Save Book World" in the subject line."
NC Weil (www.ncweil.com) is the President of the Washington, DC Chapter of the Women's National Book Association (www.wnba-books.org/wash, a network of women and men devoted to books and literacy for over 90 years.
“Helfand explains that she chose scrapbooks that, above all, “tell a story worth telling.” Take, for example, the one kept by a 19-year-old girl who eloped from her Boston home. On one page is a faded color photograph of the achingly young couple lounging on beach chairs with the caption “us,” along with the taped-in key to their Virginia Beach hotel room. Two pages later comes a telegram from her forgiving parents: “Two such sweet young people should make a fine combination.” The young bride pastes in laundry lists, gin rummy tallies, her husband’s apology note after their first fight. She also starts to write poetry: romantic rhyming couplets and letters, ripped from a magazine, that spell “Bleat, Bleat.” The sunny scrapbook belonged to Anne Sexton, years before she found fame as a poet, her marriage imploded in abuse and infidelity, and she committed suicide.”
The review was written by Caroline Preston and can be found here.
Here’s a link to "Lament," an Anne Sexton poem that I love; I used several lines from it as an epigraph to my novel A Year and a Day:
The supper dishes are over and the sun
unaccustomed to anything else
goes all the way down.
***
And speaking of Book World—which, regrettably, the Washington Post is about to shutter—Women’s National Book Association (WNBA), Washington Chapter President, NC Weil urges readers and writers to protest the decision:
"Less than a week after Ron Charles received the Nona Balakian Citationfrom the National Book Critics Circle for excellence in reviewing, the Washington Post announced the end of Book World as a stand-alone Sunday supplement. Book reviews will be incorporated into a re-formatted Style and Outlook section starting Feb. 22nd.
Protest this decision!
Katharine Graham, long-time publisher of the Washington Post, said, "sales be damned, because the mark of a good newspaper was its book section." Amen to that!
The Washington Post needs to hear from readers, right away, if they are to reconsider. Send your comments to letters@washpost.com and put "Save Book World" in the subject line."
NC Weil (www.ncweil.com) is the President of the Washington, DC Chapter of the Women's National Book Association (www.wnba-books.org/wash, a network of women and men devoted to books and literacy for over 90 years.
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