Monday, September 17, 2007

Ahoy, Matey!

Lest anyone thing we’re too serious around here—all “literary this” and “art that,” blah, blah, blah—here’s an important day we’re planning to celebrate:

International Talk Like a Pirate Day
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I’ll be flying to Atlanta on that day, so the combination of the two events should be interesting:
Flight attendant: “What would you like to drink?”
Me: “Aarrr-um and Coke.

Passenger in middle seat: “Excuse me, but is that a parrot on your shoulder?”
Me, lifting my black eye patch to glare: “Aarrr.”

To whet your appetite and illustrate the importance of this big day, here’s an excerpt from the official International Talk Like a Pirate Day web site:

Q. Have you heard the one about the pirate who walks into a bar ...

A. Yes.

As Cap'n Slappy says: Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the one that ends with someone usin' "Arrr" in the punchline. Oh, sure, thar be plenty o' these, but they're all the same damn joke.

"What's the pirate movie rated? - Arrr!"
"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!"
"What's the problem with the way a pirate speaks? - Arrrrticulation!"

...and so forth.*

The second joke is the one where the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin' on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, "Where are your buccaneers?" The little boy responds, "On either side o' me 'buccan' head!"

And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that'll last ye a lifetime - so long as life is violent and short.

More details here!

*Warning: This can be highly addictive! What would the pirate be if he weren’t a pirate? An arrr-tist.


DC-area author Leslie Pietrzyk explores the creative process and all things literary.