Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Endless NEA App, Part 2

The endless NEA application form, started yesterday, continues today:

--I got access to the form!

--The form is really only a small part of the whole thing…it’s really all about the attachments.

--There are four attachments.

--One attachment involves including the addresses and phone numbers of various literary journals in which my work has been published.

--Most literary journals don’t want people like me to have their phone numbers, otherwise we would call them up all the time to yell about how they shouldn’t reject our brilliant work.

--I consider typing in “1-800-BITE-ME.”

--I reconsider and type in, “No phone # listed.”

--Another attachment is my writing sample which must be between 20 and 25 pages.

--Every writing sample I had considered using is 18 pages.

--Every other writing sample I considered using is 30 pages.

--Each page of the writing sample must have a header and a page number.

--I only know how to do a header OR a page number, not both on the same page.

--All attachments must be in a pdf.

--I’m too cheap to buy the real Adobe, so I’m relying on free pdf conversion sites—which are a great thing to exist, and I’m very grateful.

--I’m less grateful that I must wait 30 minutes between each conversion on the site I like.

--Four separate attachments = four separate conversions = two hours.

--On the other hand, this waiting period allows me to type up this blog entry.

--And rest up for the next big push: another encounter with grants.gov when I send my completed application off for rejection.

--Tomorrow.